This is the fifth article of my Weight Loss Journey. You can read the previous posts by clicking here
15 November 2024 - my weight has stabilised at 80kg for the past couple of weeks. I have lost just over 15kg since 17 April.
I should have been feeling on top of the world.
I am not nearly so breathless, my clothes are too loose and I am feeling good physically.
I have found it surprisingly easy to give up the sugar despite having been a compulsive sweet treat eater most of my life.
Something I was not prepared for, was the terrible depression I experienced a few weeks into my diet.
I have battled with depression for years but have managed to keep it under control by taking an antidepressant daily. Anxiety and depression are 2 common co-occurring conditions with ADHD.
Over the years, I have tried occasionally to wean myself off the antidepressants by reducing the dosage under medical supervision. It has not worked for me and each time I have tried, I have sunk into a big black hole.
Since cutting out 95% of my sugar consumption, my depression got worse and worse. I couldn’t understand it because I was slimmer, looking and feeling better physically, but all I wanted to do was lie on my bed and cry and think about ways to end my life.
I couldn’t face sitting at my computer doing any work and I didn’t want to socialise with anyone.
Living in a Home for Senior Citizens, death is part of our lives and after living here for 5 years, you become accustomed to receiving the sms’s from management announcing the passing away of another resident. It is sad but this is the reality. If it is someone close to you, it is obviously more difficult to process.
I was devastated when one of my sisters who was 9 years older than me, died in the UK in September. I hadn’t seen or communicated with her for years as she had removed herself from family contact. My black hole got deeper and deeper.
It suddenly registered that like any addict, sugar and overeating was my addiction. I comfort ate and junk food was my “drug” of choice.
I had gone cold turkey and I was suffering the withdrawal symptoms. As my body started to adjust after a few weeks, the depression subsided enough to become manageable. Instead of reaching for food, I took an extra anti-depressant to boost my mood. I only needed the extra pill occasionally.
I am so glad I did not give up.
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