Are you intimidated at formal Networking events? Your carefully chosen outfit isn't quite right. Your feet are aching from wearing heels. That professional 2-minute pitch you have practised for days has gone right out of your head.
For many people with ADHD, formal social events are a nightmare.
We either babble and miss all the social cues or hide in the cloakrooms until we can escape. Due to our distraction, we miss what is being said and our responses leave the people we are talking to totally mystified.
If there is a bar we may drink too much and make an even bigger fool of ourselves.
As small business owners we have to learn to network and sell ourselves and our products and services.
Until fairly recently, my default behaviour was to be the class clown and downplay my skills and abilities. Yes, I can make people laugh but it is counter productive when I want to be seen as a professional.
Listen more and ask questions
I knew I had to change. I practise when I am stuck in a queue. I smile and greet those around me and ask a simple question. "Is this the queue for ... ?" Inevitably a couple of people answer me so I know they are willing to chat.
I don't worry that I am not in a business outfit and don't have a pitch prepared. Each encounter builds my confidence.
Below is a serendipity story that proves we can connect anywhere if we are willing to open up and listen.
Yesterday, I was in the “R” Queue at Helen Joseph State Hospital Pharmacy to collect my monthly meds. The “R” queue is for the oldies. The “H” queue is for those in wheelchairs and the middle section which seats about 300 folk is for the rest of humanity.
As we slowly move forward one place at a time, polishing the wooden benches with our backsides, there is ample time to “people watch” and engage with our neighbours on a human level.
Yesterday I met a woman who is contracted to one of our big banks as an Executive Coach. She had brought her 91-year-old Mom to the eye clinic.
She mentioned that she was battling with a staff member who had ADHD and struggled to focus during their sessions. Her knowledge of ADHD was very limited, and it was exciting to be able to tell her about our ADHD Coaching, we have agreed to meet for coffee and a chat.
As Helen Joseph outpatients we have become a community. Queuing starts from 4.30am even though the doors open at 07h00. Wheelchairs, walkers and crutches automatically get moved to the front. But, if you can walk and dare to push in, you are told in no uncertain terms where the end of the line is.
We become fiercely protective of one another. We keep places for our neighbours who are desperate to have a smoke outside, go to the loo or find a cup of coffee. If you fall or drop something, it is the patients who help.
New patients stick out like sore thumbs as they try to navigate the departments and admin systems. Regular patients shepherd the newbies and joke with the staff.
I relish my time there as I meet interesting people – everyone has a story to share but there is no competition.
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