My head feels like it wants to explode. I am weepy, frustrated, overwhelmed. There is so much I desperately want/need to do but I don't know where to begin.
Even the birds twittering outside are freaking me out. Shut up! I am trying to concentrate.
I am at last fulfilling my dream. Launching my Coaching for neurodivergent women like myself.
Eighteen years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 51. I finally understood why my life had been chaotic, why I avoided conflict and desperately tried to fit in but never got it quite right.
A lot of our behaviour is incomprehensible to non-ADHD people - our impulsivity, spending habits, job changes, procrastination to name a few.
It has taken me 18 years to feel confident that I can help women who like me, don't fit in any box but would like to thrive while being who they are born to be.
I still battle with overwhelm but I now have the tools to help me work through my analysis paralysis and get started.
I have learned several lessons:
- Be kind to myself - accept that I am not going to function well while in this state of fear and anger.
- I make some muffins while I try and get hold of my emotions.
- I no longer need to use ADHD Medication unless I am feeling totally out of control. Today I need on. Just a 10mg Methylphenidate tablet enables me to function. (It is a prescription drug which is prescribed for me. I am not recommending other people take it without medical supervision.)
As I begin to gain control again I realise I need to spend some time taking stock of where I am and what I need to do.
I decide to go back to basics and use the techniques I learned in the Dave Pughe-Parry's ADHD Coaching Programme 18 years ago.
My brain is random. I do not think in an orderly manner.
This is how I empty my Busy-Full Mind
- We guillotine our scrap A4 paper into A5 sheets and I grab a pile.
- I use a very rough form of mind-mapping. My writing is appalling. There is no logic to the blobs that appear on the page. Words splatter onto the page like water ejected from an air filled pipe and my brain feels the pressure reducing. It sounds insane but it is true.
- As I fill one page I take another. Sometimes I am able to use different sheets when I realise the topics are different. It doesn’t matter. All that is important is that I get every thought out of my head onto paper. OK that is not possibile because there is a never ending stream but at least it slows down a bit.
- When I am calm again I take all the sheets and lay them out on my desk or the dining room table.
- I start to see links between the blobs and perhaps some topic headings.
- Now I am able to take fresh A5 sheets and group together items that could go together. These are still rough blobs but I am able to get a bit of a clearer picture.
- As I pick items from my first workings I cross them off to get them out of mind.
- I may need to do this several times and often I go away and do something else or have a snooze to let the ideas gel.
- Eventually I am able to pick out the headings and sub-headings and group the options together in a more logical way.
- From here I can start to eliminate what is not important and make some decisions, often after discussing with Dave or someone else what I need to focus on.
My levels of anxiety are reduced and I am able to create a structure.
