I'll Do It!

Women pointing her finger upward “Of course I can do it!” - I say.
“Aren’t you busy?” you say.
“For you I’ll killa da bull!” - I say.

How many times have you impulsively said Yes?

Unexpected house guests
Staying late at work to fix someone else’s mess.
Playing taxi to that friend who “forgot” she had to be at an appointment in 15 minutes and hadn’t organised transport.
Taking your child’s lunch box / sports clothes / books to school because they forgot to pack it in their backpack after you reminded them half a dozen times.
Doing your child’s project at 11pm because “Mom, I forgot it was due tomorrow”.

We justify the above because that is what friends and Moms do. Well, Moms like us anyway.

Impulsivity is one of the biggest co-occurring conditions of ADHD.

Our brains are so busy, our thoughts bypass our brain and spew from our mouths.

We love to be needed and new challenges feed our insatiable curiosity about anything new.

What happens when we say yes to projects that we know nothing about and don’t have the resources or skills to do the work?

How hard can it be?
We don’t understand the full scope of the project and we jump in without a plan or the support of others.
We exhaust ourselves and those around us who are struggling to keep up as we change direction faster than a minibus taxi.

It is fantastic when we succeed. We are proud of our achievements and enjoy the praise heaped upon us.

When we realise that we over-promised but can’t deliver, the feeling of failure and shame is enormous.

We don’t like to ask for help because we started off telling everyone we have it all under control.

We either get fired or see the writing on the wall and leave in a huff.

It has taken me years and years to learn to say “No” without feeling guilty, or at least say “it sounds interesting, give me a week or two to ruminate on it.”